“There was movement at Awards Night…” ANUMC Presidential Report, Banjo Style

There was movement at Awards Night, for the word had passed around
That the President called Jess would go away,
And she’d join the wild Taswegians – A new Pres had to be found!
(Once she’d told her Pres report to all the fray.)
All the tried and noted events from the year gone close and far
Had mustered in the report overnight,
For Mountaineers love reports that tell them where they are
And to check that the club’s direction is alright.

There was Nic Fox with his website, he’d brought it from pup
To the fully functioned website we now know.
There was the running Orienteers, who with their blood fairly up,
Had the local group make us members – now we’re pro!
And Richard of the Overflow came down to lend a hand,
No better Ski Officer ever held the reins;
For never El Niño could throw him while the beginners could still stand,
He brought them through their lessons and their pains.

But one was there, danger forecast by other outdoor clubs,
When after trips their safety was chastised,
With a meeting of the Exec – and some meetings in the pubs –
A plan for Safety Guidelines was devised.
It was hard and tough and wiry – just the paperwork that won’t say die –
There was courage in the Committee’s patient role;
And now we bear the badge of Safety in our bright and fiery eye,
And with pride tell of the Guidelines we extol.

In pride of place as well is our new kayaking sleigh
For last year we said the old trainer will never do
For this long and tiring year, Terry has often gone away
To bring us back a trailer, bright and new.
New as well are many leaders, thanks to the training course,
Which ran successful with Lauren at its head.
More tough is Climbing Wall hire, which we might need to enforce…
I’ll leave that for the next Exec instead!

And so went the year just passed, with a glorious Ginger haze,
Starting with the Red Promenade on high,
Where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze,
And since the Castle the time has just flown by.
We’ve had the highest kayak in Australia, and in snow might I say,
And the lowest canyoning in Aus will soon be tried,
And so my watch is ended, for to Tas I must away,
But the club will tell the story of my ride.

Full (serious) report available to ANUMC members on the website.

And there’s also the infamous speech that won me my Presidency a year ago.


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